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If you both are completely wiped after sex to the point where you have a hard time even breathing, then you aren't doing it right. You have to become aware of your levels of sexual arousal. For example, data indicate that men with erection difficulties underreport their levels of sexual arousal (relative to the magnitude of actual erectile response) if queried (Sakheim, Barlow, Abramson, & Beck, 1987), focus their attention on nonerotic rather than erotic cues (Abramson, Barlow, Beck, Sakheim, & Kelly, 1985), and report negative (depressed) feelings (Abramson, Barlow, Beck, Sakheim, & Kelly, 1985) and a lack of control over their sexual responses (Beck, Barlow, & Sakheim, 1982). This dysfunctional process is reiterated and “improved” (i.e., the dysfunctional individual becomes even more proficient at focusing on the wrong aspects of the sexual context- the consequences of not performing, the continuation of erectile insufficiency), and thus, the individual comes to avoid sexual contexts in the future

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